What a Gift This Home Is

After years decades centuries of being hated as a Jew, there are few things more life-affirming than celebrating the founding of this country together with my fellow Israelis.

That we finally have a country again, where we can just be our Hebrew selves and live our lives freely the way the good lord intended, does not excuse any harm done to Palestinians in the last 78 years – nor in itself does it justify the existence of our state or our society.

As a nation, we’re about more than just building a home for Jews, in the land of our ancestors.

But good lord, what a gift that home is.

If You Are Struggling, Get Help

I’m sharing the post below anonymously, not just out of respect for the author (though he posted it publicly) but because I believe that he speaks for countless others, from across the spectrum of Israeli life and opinion.

If you need help – be a hero for those who love you and need you, and get help.

“It’s no simple thing, living in our land.

Today is the first Memorial Day in 14 years that I am not enlisted in my country’s armed forces. It’s difficult to describe the overwhelming combination of feelings that comes with that. Pride, for what I accomplished. Pain, for what I and so many others have lost. Respect for the fallen and the living. And terrible shame for my failures.

But there is one thing I don’t regret, and that’s the reason I’m not serving today. It’s also the reason I’m still here.

In May 2025, in the midst of my 5th rotation during the war, I broke down. I was on a mission, trying to handle the weight of my new role as platoon sergeant, when it happened. I made it back to base and came very close to doing something I would not have lived to regret, but that would have left my family and those around me devastated. Instead, I pulled myself together, gave my rifle to my commander and drove to a psychiatric hospital.

Living with PTSD has been a challenge. Things that once came naturally to me feel close to impossible now. I’ve had to surrender many things that were dear to me, including my position in the army. It took a long time to get to where I am today, and though I’ve improved greatly, I know that there is more road ahead.

It’s hard not to feel ashamed of my weakness. But I need only look at my children to remember that for them, my weakness was strength. That the people I love most will have easier, better lives because I held on.

Since being recognized as a disabled veteran, I have spoken to many other combat soldiers who confide in me privately what they are going through. Broken families and failing relationships. Lost jobs. Crying in the shower. Physical disabilities and emotional trauma. Impatience with spouses and children. But when I talk to them about getting help, I hear the same excuses I made for myself so many times, until I couldn’t anymore: people won’t understand. I’ll lose everything I worked for. I won’t respect myself. My buddies need me.

If those words sound familiar to you, I have an important message for you:

Get help. It’s worth it.

It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just one more mission – perhaps the toughest you’ve ever undertaken – to accomplish the objective, that reason above all others that we fight: to create a safe, secure world for our families to enjoy, and for us to enjoy.

It’s okay if you lose your gun license, your position in an elite unit. It’s ok if you lose your job. You can get all those things back, even if it takes time. It’s ok if you lose the respect of people who don’t know enough to understand what you’ve been through. You have the respect of the people who matter most, and that’s enough. You don’t need to carry this alone.

You can come back to fight another day, but today your battle is at home. Today you serve by holding on, by learning to live with the experiences you’ve had, and to be yourself again in spite of them.

There is a posuk in Yechezkel that we rarely read, but that is mentioned at the Seder table: “And I passed over you and saw you as you wallowed in your blood, drenched in your blood. And I said to you: By your blood shall you live.”

So we are commanded, through our pain, to endure. Because life has more planned for us. Because we are still needed. Because we matter.

If you are struggling, there are resources available to veterans and serving soldiers 24/7:

Nefesh Achat moked: *8944
Agaf Hashikum: *6500
Eran: 1201

In an emergency, you can also voluntarily check into any of the district psychiatric hospitals. You don’t need to wait until you are in crisis – you can go and get help at any time.

There is also a halfway house for soldiers experiencing emotional distress at Tel Hashomer, where you can stay temporarily to receive care. You can reach them at 052-6669512.

Today as we remember the fallen, honor their memory by sanctifying what they fought to preserve. Choose life.”

Here Is Bombs

America: Here is Bombs, please use them
World: Can we eat them?
America: No
World: Can we live in them?
America: No
World: Can we burn them for fuel?
America: No
World: …
America: They’re for blowing up people
World: *Uses Bombs*
America: No, not like that ๐Ÿ˜ก

Communal Self-Determination

As a Maimonidean, as a #Zionist, as a Libertarian Socialist – communal self-determination has a high place in my hierarchy of values.

I think it’s all the more important here in #Israel, where the need to form new types of communities together, with new identities, new norms, new customs, new niggunim, is critical.

Why Don’t I Become a Rabbi

“If you think you know so much, why don’t you become a rabbi?”

My sweet brother in Moses, I’m a father of 2 with a full-time job struggling to afford rent and daycare, are you going to pay my bills for three years while I flounce off to rabbinical school?

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

Perks of Being a Maimonidean

Come To The Dark Side, Luke

While I’m still recovering from the flu and am stuck on the couch with all this extra time to examine my life lol, I thought it would be somewhat instructive for most of you if I listed some of the perks that I see in moving beyond #Ashkenazi/#Sephardic Judaisms and choosing the #Maimonidean path in halakha.

The goal is to live a life that is:
โœ… Halakhic (rooted in Gemara and Geonim)
โœ… Rational (no superstition or magical thinking)
โœ… Practical (meant to be accommodating)
โœ… Meaningful (a coherent framework for perfecting ourselves and our society)
…as guided by Rambam’s and his family’s writings and responsa.

Without becoming a partisan of the:
โŒ Orthodox
โŒ Conservative
โŒ Reform
โŒ Or any other denomination
…while maintaining respect and love for the members of those communities โค๏ธ

That’s the basic idea.

What follows are some of the small (and big!) ways my life as a halakhically-observant Jew might differ from what you’re used to, particularly if you come from an Orthodox background.

If you have any questions about any of them, feel free to ask (although fair warning, I generally don’t debate people).

If you also chose the Maimonidean path and can think of some perks that I missed (hello, flu-brain!) – list em in the comments.

The Perks of Being a Maimonidean

Meta Perks
– Only the national court can obligate all Jewish people
– Minhag is never binding unless you’re in a public setting with a group of people that exclusively follow it
– If there is any doubt about how to apply a rabbinic law – we go lenient
– Rabbinic decrees are limited to only what they originally decreed, not everything analogous
– There is no such thing as daas Torah – consulting a rabbi is the same as consulting any legal advisor

Shabbath
– Electricity on Shabbath is permitted
– Nolad is not an operative category on Shabbath at all
– Muqtse is only an issue if the object has no use but melakha
– Open and closing modern devices is normal use – you can open an umbrella on Shabbath

Yom Tob
– Only one day of yom tob for everyone celebrating in Israel
– Cooking on yom tob is straightforward

Pesah
– No fast for bekhor on ‘ereb Pesah (phew)
– Pesah cleaning is normal – simply removing leavened food, cleaning crumbs, and removing stains
– Qitniyoth are fine! Gebrokts is fine!
– Selling hamets is not required if you get rid of it, but is easy to do if you can’t
– The Haggada can be made shorter or longer depending on preference

Kashruth
– Six hours between meat and cheese is either approximate (simple read) or replaceable with mouth cleaning (taking Rambam’s approach to the sources)
– No waiting between cheese and meat
– Bishul akum requires actual bishul and actual akum, and only applies to fancy food
– Fish and meat together is fine
– Bittul be-shishim doesn’t escalate
– No separate dishes if vessels are non-absorbent

Nidda
– No extra waiting time beyond the Talmudic clean days
– Ketamim, bediqoth, and harhaqoth are all the Talmudic baseline, no extra stringencies
– Immersion requirements are more flexible (any moving body of rain/water) and less demanding (just remove whatever you don’t want that prevents the water from reaching your skin)

Marriage, Divorce, and Membership
– You don’t need a rabbi to get married
– The aguna crisis is solved via annulment
– Giyyur is simple and can be done by three Jewish adults in an hour, for the right person

Tephilla and Berakhoth
– Prayers are much shorter and more embodied
– Women have the same obligation in tephilla as men (no exemption or diminution of obligation due to being time-bound)
– But women are exempt from qeriath shema
– No tebilath Ezra required (but a shower would count anyway)
– Torah reading is fulfilled even from a defective scroll

Mourning
– Mourning minhagim are simple and non-obligatory, responsive to the mourner’s needs
– But also music during the Omer!
– Meat during the Nine Days!

Monetary
– Tips count as tsedaqa

What else can you add to the list???

Now don’t get it twisted: being a Maimonidean, following Rambam, doesn’t mean accepting everything he says uncritically.

It’s about learning from and relying on his and his family’s halakhic and philosophical works as real guides for developing a Torah life – and ultimately it’s about embracing a method and a path, not a set of claims.

Sometimes, after reviewing the sources Rambam based himself on, I come to the realization that I disagree with him.

That’s fine – Rambam himself said to go with whomever presents the more reasonable argument.

The point is not to profess loyalty to another man’s ideas but to serve Hashem with an ever-growing awareness of truth and Torah.

May we all merit such awareness.

May we all be inspired to do teshuba.

May Hashem keep us safe and guard us from all who would do us harm.

May there be peace like Above.

Solving the Agunah Crisis

The Agunah Crisis
Women Chained to Dead Marriages
Is Easily Solved

We have so many options:

– a clause in the kethuba stipulating binding arbitrage (including divorce, if mandated) in the event of marital dispute (the “Lieberman Clause”)

– a prenuptial agreement stipulating payment of thousands of dollars a month in the event of separation without divorce (the RCA’s approach)

– a pre-written divorce document placed in escrow (the bride can choose a relative or friend she trusts) and given to the wife in the event she files for civil divorce

– a pre-written divorce document, written, signed, and given to the bride on camera, stipulating that it automatically takes effect in the event that she presents it to a court and requests her marriage be terminated

These are all great solutions, even though (of course) none of them are universally agreed upon or accepted – but the problem is that they all require planning for the possibility of terminating the marriage BEFORE getting married.

What about women who are chained to marriages and did not plan for this possibility with their partners?

I think the best solution is one that is based on the plain reading of the Gemara, as understood by Rambam, the Tosaphists, and other Rishonim:

– annulment of the marriage by a duly-constituted court exercising its Torah-given discretion

You can annul marriages in Judaism???

Yep. In several places in the Gemara, cases are described where rabbinic courts annulled marriages. The justification given is a simple principle:

“Everyone who marries, does so by dint of the court’s dispensation.”

Rambam (the greatest rabbi of the past 1500 years) cites this principle in his responsa, claiming it applies to all forms of marriage.

Why?

While the operational form, details, and regulations of every biblical precept are left to the human court to decide and formulate, the other precepts all correspond to an objective substrate – an act or an object – that can be identified as constitutive of the precept, even if the exact legal definition is left to the court.

For example, if I make a vow, I’ve performed an objective speech act articulating an intent to (not) do something. Whether it technically qualifies as a vow under halakha is secondary to the act itself.

To give another example, if I slaughter a sheep, I’ve performed an objective act that had the identifiable effect of killing an animal. Whether or not it technically qualifies as acceptable slaughter according to halakha, you can still point to what I’ve done and said that’s slaughter.

But marriage is something different.

There’s no underlying substrate to marriage – no act or object that it refers to.

It exists purely as signification – a communicated sign of status and relationship, not an ontologically real phenomenon.

Every society has to choose how it signifies marriage.

Jewish society is based around the Torah and its precepts. The Torah says “when a man takes a woman [as a wife]” – and what man? what woman? how? are, like all other details of the precepts, all left for the court to determine.

But unlike all other precepts, the court’s determination of what signifies marriage *is all marriage is*.

Without the court’s choice that they should signify marriage in Jewish society, the classic forms of halakhic marriage would just be unrelated acts of gift giving, note passing, or relations, not obviously connoting any sort of special status or relationship.

The court’s choice that they signify marriage is what makes marriage possible in a halakhic society.

Or in the Gemara’s words:

“Everyone who marries, does so by dint of the court’s dispensation.”

And if the court can decide that an act signifies marriage, it can decide that THIS act – this giving of a ring, this writing of a note, these relations – no longer signify marriage.

By withdrawing its recognition of THIS act as constituting the marriage, the court is able to annul the marriage.

(Without any negative repercussions for any children produced in the union, I might add.)

That is the power of the court in halakha.

Of course…

Not everyone agrees.

Some people read the Gemara’s “everyone who marries” as meaning only people who marry in the specific cases listed in the Gemara.

Some people believe that only national courts, or courts of the caliber of bygone days, can annul marriages.

Some people are afraid that if you allow courts to annul marriages, then they’ll start rubber-stamping every impulsive separation (or worse) presented to them by their constituents.

I think some of these objections are more rational than others. All are fairly easy to rebut. But ultimately, none of them address the unacceptable cost of keeping people chained in marriages that they want (or need) to leave.

Their suffering should be enough to motivate the rabbinic establishment to at least seriously consider the option to annul those marriages.

In the twentieth century, two famous rabbis – R Uzziep and R Rackman – each proposed exactly that – make discretionary use of the court’s power to annul marriages that need to be terminated.

Both rabbis requested the support of their colleagues.

Both were ignored, despite their formidable reputations, and despite the stakes of the issue.

Why?

Because centuries of interpretative inertia had made the non-Maimonidean reading of the Gemara the dominant one, and when the Rema ruled that a formal divorce document is required in all cases to terminate a Jewish marriage, that became the final word for most of the Jewish world (even those who don’t normally hold like the Rema ๐Ÿคฆ thus is the power of doubt wields in the conservative mind).

My friends, it seems the rabbinic establishment – at least in the Orthodox world – has painted itself into a corner and is unwilling to step outside of it.

Yes, they recognize the problem exists and are willing to take some small steps to prevent it from growing (although the Orthodox rabbis who will refuse to assist with a marriage unless one of the aforementioned methods is utilized, are still few and far between).

But the really necessary action – what it takes to actually SOLVE the problem – is still off the table. It would require changing historical course and (even respectfully) disagreeing with some of Jewish history’s Great Men. And that’s something that the current rabbinic establishment – comprised almost entirely of a) men b) educated in an Ashkenormative milieu and c) who themselves aspire to be Great Men – simply can not bring itself to do.

No matter what the cost, apparently.

Will things stay this way forever?

Will there always be women chained in marriages that for all practical purposes ended years ago?

I hope not.

The Orthodox world is slowly warming up to the idea that Yes Women Can Be Rabbis Too, and as they join the ranks of the rabbinic establishment they’ll hopefully bring with them a heightened focus on and concern for issues currently sidelined or ignored.

Orthodox Jewish people are also considering alternative paths of halakhic observance that aren’t limited to what their grandparents did or what they learned in yeshiva. The internet age has drastically increased the amount of halakhic information, opinions, and possibilities people are exposed to, and the corresponding changes in observance are starting to emerge.

And across the Orthodox world, people are starting to demand more of their rabbis. People are looking for real answers and real solutions, and “we don’t pasken that way” sounds increasingly hollow to increasingly exhausted ears. Rabbis must live with the times and meet the needs of the moment of history in which they actually live and preach – or they will be replaced with those will.

One day, it will be commonplace for courts to annul marriages that they decide should be terminated.

We’ll look back at the Aguna Crisis (along with so many other issues – another chat, friends) and wonder how we could have let it persist for so long.

“Everyone who marries, does so by dint of the court’s dispensation.”

ื›ืœ ื”ืžืงื“ืฉ ืื“ืขืชื ื“ืจื‘ื ืŸ ืžืงื“ืฉ

Image and Autonomy

The divine image and autonomy are intertwined

To say one is to say the other

That’s the foundation of the Torah’s legal system

Yom Haatsmaut Amid Missiles

(long but LIFE AFFIRMING ๐Ÿ‘)

This week we are supposed to celebrate Yom Haatsmaut.

A national day of independence.

A celebration of the achievement and the miracle that was the creation of this state, and what it means for the people of Israel who have marched down this road for millenia.

A recognition of what it means to go from being herded into the gas chambers to flying one of the world’s greatest air forces.

To be one step – one huge and meaningful step – closer to the ultimate freedom we’ve prayed and fought for throughout the longest exile.

A day to look forward to, every year.

And so we’re getting ready.

Meanwhile… the ceasefire with Lebanon didn’t include Hezbollah and the “ceasefire” with the IRGC wasn’t based on any points of agreement, didn’t translate into anything permanent, and expires on… Yom Haatsmaut.

Meanwhile POTUS said Hormuz will never be closed again hours before the IRGC closed it and fired on ships, and said Iran will transfer all its uranium to the USA only for the IRGC to flatly deny anything of the sort minutes later. Sounds like someone’s looking to sell renewed hostilities (“a civilization will die tonight”?) to his base as the necessary response to the IRGC breaking the aforementioned “ceasefire.”

Meanwhile the IRGC has been digging out launchers, manufacturing new launchers and missiles, and repositioning all the assets it conserved and recovered during the 40 days of missiles fired at just the right pace to keep us running to shelters and to deplete our interceptors, escalating at will in response to coalition strikes and political developments.

Meanwhile we are running lower than ever before on interceptors and we can’t cover all the missiles and launchers the IRGC currently has, let alone resupply the interceptors as quickly as the IRGC can make new missiles and launchers.

Meanwhile Hezbollah is repositioning, resupplying, and still under the complete control of the IRGC. Waiting for the signal to resume the rockets that keep half the country running for cover.

Meanwhile the Israeli government lifted all restrictions on Friday and so all of us are grabbing the opportunity to party and are busy planning barbecues with our friends on balconies and in parks and on the beaches and just want to feel fcking normal for a change after weeks/years of war, like we actually have something to celebrate and live for, just to be free of the shelters for just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

And the “ceasefire” expires on Yom Haatsmaut…

I have no idea what to expect this week.

A couple of weeks ago we were staring down the barrel of radically escalated hostilities with possibly devasting consequences for Israelis, and then like 45 minutes before it was bombs and missiles everywhere, the Pakistani government jumped in and we got some kind of pause in the bombs and missiles instead of a lot more of them.

I had stocked our shelter, stayed up reading the news, studying, and waiting for the sirens, and was never so happy to have my concerns prove fruitless if not unfounded.

This Yom Haatsmaut might be the day of normalcy and joy and fun we’ve been collectively craving for over a month.

It might be a day of missiles.

Landing.

Most of the signs I’m seeing as of today are pointing in a clear direction – but everything is in flux, perpetually and rapidly shifting, ever-changing dรฉtentes between multiple belligerent and corrupt parties.

Nothing is certain. Nothing is fixed. Nothing is guaranteed.

And always, throughout history and across the world but especially in this place at this time – Divine love, compassion, and grace have accompanied us, even in the darkest hour of night.

Anything can happen, especially the miraculous, especially here, in the land of providential love.

Whatever happens, though, we WILL celebrate our independence. Our freedom. Our autonomy. Our democracy.

The inalienable rights our ancestors fought to assert and defend and exercise in our ancestral land.

They are worth celebrating this year and every year, with thanks and gratitude to the Highest.

Maybe especially this year.

(Yes, the war and the history and everything was complicated and multifaceted – hard won independence for some came at a catastrophic price for others. I will share some thoughts on what independence means, and should mean, and can mean, in a few days. But for this moment I just want to say:)

Whether in the parks or in the shelters… we will celebrate.

We will find a way.

We will have our Yom Haatsmaut.

So, my friends…. I’m praying for normalcy.

I’m praying for barbecues and loud music and the joy of being alive together under the open sky.

I’m praying for another miracle.

But I’m keeping the shelter stocked.

With beer.

Radical Far Left Democrat

“Israel will not be bombing Lebanon any longer. They are PROHIBITED from doing so by the USA. Enough is enough.”

Can you believe this Radical Far Left Democrat has the NERVE to tell Israel what to do?!