I’m sharing the post below anonymously, not just out of respect for the author (though he posted it publicly) but because I believe that he speaks for countless others, from across the spectrum of Israeli life and opinion.
If you need help – be a hero for those who love you and need you, and get help.
“It’s no simple thing, living in our land.
Today is the first Memorial Day in 14 years that I am not enlisted in my country’s armed forces. It’s difficult to describe the overwhelming combination of feelings that comes with that. Pride, for what I accomplished. Pain, for what I and so many others have lost. Respect for the fallen and the living. And terrible shame for my failures.
But there is one thing I don’t regret, and that’s the reason I’m not serving today. It’s also the reason I’m still here.
In May 2025, in the midst of my 5th rotation during the war, I broke down. I was on a mission, trying to handle the weight of my new role as platoon sergeant, when it happened. I made it back to base and came very close to doing something I would not have lived to regret, but that would have left my family and those around me devastated. Instead, I pulled myself together, gave my rifle to my commander and drove to a psychiatric hospital.
Living with PTSD has been a challenge. Things that once came naturally to me feel close to impossible now. I’ve had to surrender many things that were dear to me, including my position in the army. It took a long time to get to where I am today, and though I’ve improved greatly, I know that there is more road ahead.
It’s hard not to feel ashamed of my weakness. But I need only look at my children to remember that for them, my weakness was strength. That the people I love most will have easier, better lives because I held on.
Since being recognized as a disabled veteran, I have spoken to many other combat soldiers who confide in me privately what they are going through. Broken families and failing relationships. Lost jobs. Crying in the shower. Physical disabilities and emotional trauma. Impatience with spouses and children. But when I talk to them about getting help, I hear the same excuses I made for myself so many times, until I couldn’t anymore: people won’t understand. I’ll lose everything I worked for. I won’t respect myself. My buddies need me.
If those words sound familiar to you, I have an important message for you:
Get help. It’s worth it.
It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just one more mission – perhaps the toughest you’ve ever undertaken – to accomplish the objective, that reason above all others that we fight: to create a safe, secure world for our families to enjoy, and for us to enjoy.
It’s okay if you lose your gun license, your position in an elite unit. It’s ok if you lose your job. You can get all those things back, even if it takes time. It’s ok if you lose the respect of people who don’t know enough to understand what you’ve been through. You have the respect of the people who matter most, and that’s enough. You don’t need to carry this alone.
You can come back to fight another day, but today your battle is at home. Today you serve by holding on, by learning to live with the experiences you’ve had, and to be yourself again in spite of them.
There is a posuk in Yechezkel that we rarely read, but that is mentioned at the Seder table: “And I passed over you and saw you as you wallowed in your blood, drenched in your blood. And I said to you: By your blood shall you live.”
So we are commanded, through our pain, to endure. Because life has more planned for us. Because we are still needed. Because we matter.
If you are struggling, there are resources available to veterans and serving soldiers 24/7:
Nefesh Achat moked: *8944
Agaf Hashikum: *6500
Eran: 1201
In an emergency, you can also voluntarily check into any of the district psychiatric hospitals. You don’t need to wait until you are in crisis – you can go and get help at any time.
There is also a halfway house for soldiers experiencing emotional distress at Tel Hashomer, where you can stay temporarily to receive care. You can reach them at 052-6669512.
Today as we remember the fallen, honor their memory by sanctifying what they fought to preserve. Choose life.”