Due to a mishap in my prescription fulfillment, this Rosh Hashana, I’ll be without my OCD medication for the first time since I started taking it.
For those who don’t live with OCD, all they know of it – all they see of it – are some odd behaviors and preferences, some rigidity in personal habits. Those outward signs seem bizarre but trivial, and the mental, emotional, and psychological backdrop and context to them is mysterious at best, ignored at worst, leaving only the visible tip of the iceberg.
For those of us who live with OCD, we know there’s so much more to it. The mental invasions and loops and ruts, the overwhelming pressure and anxiety and need, the emotional disruption and physical anguish, the isolation and the depression. The overly critical view of everything and the desperate search for control. Needing things to be even between right and left, or clean of contamination – that’s just a glimpse into the maddening world of OCD.
It’s definitely not my choice to enter a time fraught with so much legitimate and healthy anxiety and trepidation, with a brain wired for neurosis.
But that’s how my Creator intends for me to go through the sacred process this year. To stand before my King, holy and broken, ready to accept the guiding yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven. To hear in the shophar’s voice my own primal cry for release and redemption from my obsession with my failures.
And I’ve certainly done it before – faced this challenge without the help of medicine.
So
A) Wish me הצלחה success in my encounter with my King
B) In the spirit of sweetening judgment, if you know someone who displays signs of neurosis or even just rigidity, have grace and be charitable towards them – you don’t know what it’s like to stand in their shoes, especially at this time
C) If you suspect you may have OCD or another type of neurological misconfiguration / neurochemical imbalance and it’s adversely affecting your life, please talk with a psychiatrist about how medication may help you. Please. I know there’s tremendous social stigma in the West surrounding mental and emotional health, but you’re not alone and you deserve a better quality of life. And those close to you will appreciate it too. 😉
May we all be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life ❤️